The specific thing you like
Fetishes, and owning yours.
What a fetish is, which ones are common, and why saying yours out loud early is how you meet the people who share it. New York, 18+.
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The basics
What a fetish actually is
A fetish is a specific thing that reliably turns you on - feet, leather, latex, a particular material or situation. It is neither a flaw nor a rarity; most people have at least one, and the only real variable is whether they admit it. The trouble fetishists run into is not the fetish. It is finding someone who shares it without a dozen awkward run-ups first.
A few of the common ones
Fetishes people have
- Feet
- Among the most common of all, and among the most quietly widespread. A whole world of people are into it and barely any say so first.
- Leather and latex
- The material itself - how it looks, feels, sounds and smells. Often its own scene, with its own nights and its own dress codes, strong in New York City.
- Lingerie and hosiery
- A fetish for the garment, not just the person in it. Specific, visual, and very common.
- Uniforms and roleplay
- Arousal tied to a role or a setting rather than an act. The costume is the point, and the scene gets built around it.
The useful part
On owning it
- You are not alone in it, however niche it feels. Whatever yours is, there is a community for it and almost certainly people near you who share it.
- Say it early, not late. A fetish revealed three dates in lands like a bombshell. Named upfront, it is just a preference - and it sorts for people who share it.
- Shame is the only part worth losing. The fetish is harmless; the habit of hiding it is what makes people miserable, and it is the bit to drop.
- Put it on your profile. The fastest way to meet people into the same thing is to say what you are into. Vagueness helps nobody.
Keep reading
Go deeper
Common questions
Fetishes, answered.
Is having a fetish normal?
Genuinely, yes. Studies that bother to ask find a large majority of people have at least one fetish or strong kink. The difference between people is not whether they have one, but whether they have made peace with it.
My fetish feels too weird to tell anyone. What now?
Start by assuming you're wrong that it's too weird - that assumption is almost always false. Whatever it is, there are others, and plenty of them are on sites like this looking for exactly you.
Should I lead with my fetish or ease in?
Lead with it. A fetish works best stated plainly and early - it saves everyone's time and finds the people who share it, who were the only ones you wanted.
Is a fetish the same as a kink?
Close, and people use the words loosely. A fetish is usually more specific - a particular object or material close to necessary for arousal - while a kink is broader. Both are welcome here.
When you are ready
Meet someone who gets it.
Free to join. Say what you are into - the people who share it are looking for you.
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